“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25
Love as a Foundation
Love is the cornerstone of any relationship, especially marriage. In putting our spouse first, we are called to love them sacrificially, just as Christ demonstrated through His love for the church. This means prioritizing their needs and happiness as we navigate our shared life together. By making love a primary focus, we foster an environment where both partners can thrive. The Bible shows us that love is not just a feeling but an action we choose to take. When we actively choose to love our spouse first, we create a solid foundation for our lives together.
Colossians 3:19
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” – Colossians 3:19
1 Peter 3:7
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” – 1 Peter 3:7
Ephesians 5:33
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33
Song of Solomon 8:6
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.” – Song of Solomon 8:6
Proverbs 31:10
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10
Putting Their Needs First
One of the significant aspects of putting our spouse first is recognizing and prioritizing their needs. It involves understanding what they require emotionally, spiritually, and physically to feel loved and valued. This selfless act encourages us to put aside our desires at times, viewing our partner’s needs as essential. God calls us to serve one another, and part of that service is ensuring that our spouse feels cherished and cared for. By focusing on their needs, we build a relationship grounded in mutual support and love.
Philippians 2:3
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3
1 Timothy 5:8
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” – 1 Timothy 5:8
Romans 12:10
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” – Romans 12:10
1 John 3:18
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” – 1 John 3:18
Galatians 5:13
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” – Galatians 5:13
Building Trust
Trust is another significant aspect of any healthy marriage. By putting our spouse first, we create a trusting environment where both partners feel safe and secure in sharing their thoughts and feelings. Trust isn’t built overnight; it takes consistent effort and openness. When we prioritize our partner’s needs and feelings, we reinforce the bond of trust that helps us both grow. The Bible encourages us to embody honesty and integrity, thereby fostering deeper connections and a sense of unity in our relationship.
Proverbs 20:6
“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?” – Proverbs 20:6
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
James 1:19
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19
Proverbs 14:5
“An honest witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies.” – Proverbs 14:5
Psalms 37:5
“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this.” – Psalms 37:5
Enjoying Quality Time Together
In a busy world, we often forget the significance of spending quality time with our spouse. Prioritizing this time together not only strengthens our emotional bond but also fosters love and affection. God wants us to enjoy each other’s company, to laugh, to talk, and be present in one another’s lives. As we cherish our shared moments, we deepen our connection, making it easier to prioritize each other’s needs consistently. It becomes an opportunity to grow closer and build lasting memories that enrich our lives together.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1
Mark 10:9
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9
Psalms 128:3
“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.” – Psalms 128:3
Proverbs 17:17
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17
Isaiah 58:7
“Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” – Isaiah 58:7
Communication and Understanding
Effective communication is essential in any marriage. To truly put our spouse first, we must practice open and honest communication. By actively listening and expressing our feelings, we create a space for understanding. God has gifted us the ability to express love through words, and using them wisely can transform our relationship. As we engage in heartfelt conversations, we learn to appreciate our partner’s perspective, which in turn helps us prioritize their needs and desires more easily.
Proverbs 12:18
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18
James 3:17
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” – James 3:17
Proverbs 18:13
“To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” – Proverbs 18:13
Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29
Colossians 4:6
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” – Colossians 4:6
Forgiveness and Grace
Every relationship will face its challenges, and sometimes misunderstandings will occur. In these moments, extending forgiveness and grace is essential. We are taught in the Bible that mercy and forgiveness strengthen our bonds. By putting our spouse first, we create an environment where both are encouraged to seek forgiveness and repair any rifts. This practice not only reflects our commitment to our partner but also to God and His teachings on love and reconciliation.
Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13
Matthew 6:14
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” – Matthew 6:14
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32
1 John 1:9
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9
Matthew 18:21-22
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'” – Matthew 18:21-22
Final Thoughts
Putting our spouse first is about embracing love, understanding, and prioritizing their needs. It involves building trust and enjoying quality time together while communicating openly and seeking forgiveness when necessary. The Bible provides us with powerful guidance on how to foster a strong marriage by living selflessly, nurturing our connection, and cherishing each other every day. Each verse speaks to the truth that our marriages can grow when we commit to these principles and embrace God’s teachings.
As we reflect on what it means to put our spouse first, we can explore other important topics in Scripture. When thinking about a future partner, consider reading about future wives or discover ways to cultivate fruitfulness in marriage. Each part of our journey with God can be enlightening and encouraging.